Robin's Reviews: Monkeying Around Pt. 1

If I gave any of you the impression the problem with my boiler is solved, I apologize sincerely. It's not solved. It's worse than ever. Indeed, since last night, I declared the patch job to officially be of no further use and was forced to shut the whole system down. So now I'm without heat or hotwater for the second time in six days and, although the techs themselves were quick and helpful, the oil companies administration is bloody useless and hasn't even given us an estimated date on when they might replace it. The boss, whose name is Eisenhower, despite 30 years in the business is apparently afraid to fill out an order form without this other guy who was out all week because his wife was in surgery. Shit, man. Unless you're also her doctor, you can spare half an hour a day to say "Yes, yes, no, yes, yes, no, no, no, no, yes." And even then I think you should probably have that much time unless you're also her lawyer, nurse, accountant, insurance company, mother, EMT, BFF and spiritual guide. to someone on the phone. Or failing that half hour, get a partner who isn't paralyzed at the first sign that he may have to do some work. Because when I call up and say "Not only is the temporary patch broken, and I did tell you it would break sooner rather than later so hurry your slow asses up, now it's dripping oil out with the hot water." the answer I expect to receive is "I'll send someone right away" and NOT "Well what do you want me to do about it?"

Because of this predicament in which I am cold and also smelly since I have no hot water to shower with, my monkies (who have nothing to hide) have shamelessly exploited my weakness and demanded I review something about monkies. Travis, my body double wanted stupid things like Congo. So I sided with Eduardo my thesis monkey and choose to review, The Journey to the West, AKA Legend of the Monkey King, one of the four great Chinese novels, and the R.K. Narayan (shortened prose version) of the Indian Epic Ramayana. Ramayana I read recently. Journey to the West was ages ago, so I forget what translation/edition it was. Not that it matters.

Journey to the West Summary: A one of a kind Stone Monky chooses to learn magic after realizing that monkies not made of stone aren't immortal (and maybe neither is he). After fighting heaven to a standstill all by himself TWICE, the yellow emperor begs Buddha for help and Buddha traps the well intentioned but reckless and mischievous monkey under a magic mountain, promising that in the future he'll be given an opportunity at redemption. Many years pass and Monkey is released and made servant to Xuenzhang, a Buddhist monk of extraordinary purity who is journeying west to receive scrolls of wisdom from Buddha himself. Monkey becomes his first and best disciple as well as one of Xuenzhang's three bodyguards (and the only competent one of the bunch).

History of the tale: Xuenzhang was a real guy. Going west means around the the mountains of Tibet and heading south into India. Supposedly he studied there for several years and became so well known as a smart guy that when he left (laden with scrolls he would use to form the Big Goose Pagoda's library back in China. That pagoda still exists in Xi'an by the way. I've been there.) he stood on a stage for three days while hundreds of other monks were invited to debate him on any topic of their choosing, but they were all so afraid of being out-debated no one dared ask anything. This is one of the most famous legends throughout Asia and although Journey to the West (which is a novel written around 1600 in China) is the definitive version, it has been around far longer as the subject of traveling performers as well as writers of serials. So for instance, it was in the Japanese versions that the second two disciples and bodyguards (Pig and Friar Sand, both minor officials in Heaven who were tossed out for minor offenses) were given personalities. Pig was made stupid and lazy and never really changes, which makes Monkey (Sun Wukong) look better while Friar Sand is polite and learned from the beggining although he isn't strong. The combination provides a measuring stick for how well Monkey learns about Buddhism as he becomes wise in addition to clever etc. Also notably in the Japanese tellings of the story, Friar Sand is a "kappa" a half fish half man along the lines of the creature from the black lagoon. There's no equivalent in Chinese mythology, so he's never described in any great detail in the text. Ain't that amusing?

Short review: It's a classic and it's a lot of fun. But here's everything yo need to know if you plan to read it. Read the first 12 or 13 chapters about Monkey's origins and rebellion against heaven, as well as Xuenzhang's story. Then read any five chapters in the middle and the last couple of chapters. See, the book is long. Really long. Version I read was in four volumes. It's a hundred chapters. For reasons of buddhist symbolism I believe Monkey has to overcome eighty eight trials (Probably something to do with the Noble Eight Fold Path). Needless to say, many of the adventures in the middle run together. In essence, an given chapter will look like this. The heroes are walking down the road. An old man/little girl/random wanderer etc. will beg something of Xuenzhang or invite him to their home. Monkey will say "Don't do it. They're a monster. They just want to eat you because the good karma you've built up over many lifetimes will give them immortality." Xuenzhang, being an idiot tells monkey off for being suspicious and rude and projecting is own wickedness onto innocent people (ocassionally becoming so angry he actually dismisses him and sends him back to the Island of Fruits and Flowers where he is, quite literally, the king of the monkies). Of course, Monkey is right everytime and must then rescue Xuenzhang and usually Pig and Friar Sand while he's at it. This usually means

A) Transforming into a bug to sneak into their castle and then into the villain's body before announcing his presence and threatening to tear them apart from the inside or B) The more interesting enemies usually have some crazy kind of powers but some exploitable weakness. One manages to keep escaping in open combat so Monkey recruits the only god who was actually challenging back when he and heaven were at war and some of that god's friends to cut the enemy off. Another one was some kind of worm or snake or a butterfly or something random like that who couldn't beat Monkey but would teleport him miles underground, forcing him to dig his way back out. So he recruited a chicken-god because its crowing actually scared this thing to death.

To be fair, on ocassion the villains would be something else entirely. I seem to recall trials involving making it rain during a drought and curing ill kings. There was one set of enemies that wasn't the least bit malicious. It was actually pretty funny. It was this group of sentient trees who kidnapped him because, being living trees, they were immobile and sort of starved for company. They just wanted him to stick around for a few decades (or centuries, if you've got the time) to shoot the breeze. All in all though, if I were teaching a class on folklore, mythology and epics, I'd do MAYBE twenty chapters because the stuff in the middle gets ultra repetetive. If you, like me, are an amateur folklorist it's worth reading at least that much and it is actually really enjoyable that way. But that's all you need. Even my Chinese Lit professor gave me this weird look when I told him I read the thing cover to cover. Said he didn't think he'd ever had a student who'd gone that far. And if you're not a folklorist, forget it. Much as I enjoy the stuff, what precisely would you do with this info? And if you're looking for gut wrenching emotional power or you want to think deep thoughts...this is an epic. It's not exactly written in a style that makes for fantastic modern reading because it's all based on oral traditions. If anything, epic poems like Beowulf and Gilgamesh (both of which are quite short) have more to say about the human condition.