2nd: The First Ever Serialized Adventures of You 1.5

You try to maneuver back towards the escalators into the Metlife building to orient yourself, but a crowd of people pushes you away from the escalator you want and nearly sends you careening into a stocky repairman who looks wider than tall.
“Hey asshole, can’t youse read the sign?” he hollers at you, pointing to a small yellow piece of plastic nearby explaining that one of the escalators is closed. You look up and notice a half a dozen people climbing the escalator anyway.
“Why, yes I can,” you smile politely “I was merely wondering why, despite your efforts, people are climbing this defunct apparatus?”
The man is not happy. That’s fine by you. “They were the last ones.” He says it so vehemently, you feel the slight spray of spittle on your face.
“I see, I see. So what you’re saying is that you fucked up and you’re trying to throw around what little authority you have in the hopes of salvaging some self respect from this encounter. However, a word to the wise- authority is a limited resource. Each time you use it, especially when you are in such a weak position, you lose some of it. And if you’re hoping to intimidate me with your foul language and foul breath alone, alas, I am too well prepared for such trivial irritations. Since you seem to have a slightly glazed look in your eyes, I’ll get to the bottom line. Don’t start what youse can’t finish, asshole.” Just to spite him, you press past him and climb the escalator, smiling about turning his pitiful taunts back at him.
You stop smiling when someone keeps screaming for you to wait.
It’s your damned cousin again, tripping over people on the functioning up-going escalator.
You decide to play it cool, walking through the revolving doors and stopping just out of sight. As your cousin rounds the corner you wordlessly smack him with your messenger bag and trod on silently. Unfortunately, he has words. Many words. Words such as “wow”, “ouch”, and “youse.” He seems intent on sharing every word he knows but you ignore all of them hoping that eventually he’ll run out of steam. It’s just more jibber-jabber about how strange the city is. You’re pretty sure it’s your cousin who is strange and not the city. You choose not to articulate this sentiment.
And he just keeps jabbering all the way up to sixth about your harrowing adventures against the Maintenance man. Very Billy Goat Gruff, he says. You pass a McDonalds with a line that goes around the corner. The vile oil smell only serves to remind you that can hardly afford even the lowliest of meals- a couple pieces off the dollar menu. It reminds your cousin that he’d almost run out of things to say about your epic heroics and the glittery sheen of the city that never sleeps, so he starts in on happy meal toys and starts asking if the line has anything to do with the latest movie tie ins. You say nothing, secretly hoping that he’d be so distracted by the poor shmucks handing out fliers that you’d be able to lose him by quickly changing directions, but you hesitate a moment too long and he chases after you, nearly getting himself flattened by a Fed Ex truck.
Eventually, you arrive at a ritzy building and instruct your cousin to stay put, and play nice with the homeless guy on the corner. He’s full of questions about why, but you’re too worried that your growling stomach will ruin the interview for you and so you deign not to indulge his curiosity any further. You simply repeat the order and march inside.