2nd: The First Ever Serialized Adventures of You 1.4

Couple housekeeping items before I start. It seems that I've been officially declared coffee. And what does that mean? A little sick? I'll just have to try harder. Secondly, I see someone had the courage to identify their political affiliations. And heaven help us, for we are both men of La Mancha. Or they could be a woman. Or a hideous space mutant. I'm guessing woman, actually, but whatever. La Mancha. That's the important thing. And now, we return to our regularly scheduled bullshit.
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You approach him and slap a hand on his shoulder. “Come on, man, pay attention to where you are.” He looks up at you, smiles, then spins around trying to understand what you mean. He spies an older woman struggling up the stairs from the lower level and starts off to help her.
“Where the hell are you going?” you ask him.
“To help that old woman,” he says “isn’t that what you were saying?” He is stopped almost directly in front of her now, but facing away from her. She brushes past him without a second thought.
“No. I was telling you that you’re in the way.”
“Oh.” He frowns slightly, but then beams. “Well I’m glad you came! What’re we going to do first?” You grunt.
“We are not going to do anything because I have no money.” Your stupid cousin, an only child and spoiled like you can hardly believe cocks his head like a dog.
“Why don’t you have any money?”
You sigh and think of the musician. “I was robbed.” You tell him. He gasps.
“My goodness! I thought Dad was exaggerating about the crime rate.”
You grin wickedly. “Not at all. This is a terrible place. That old lady probably would have maced you if you tried to help her. You should probably just turn around and go home. These people would just as soon kill you as look at you.” Your cousin pales and for a brief moment, you have hopes that he’ll do just that. Your spirits rise when a very large, glowering man of indeterminable ethnic identity approaches you both and begins speaking in a thick accent. Your cousin is petrified. This is perfect. All you need to do is convince him that the man is secretly a terrorist or something. The man asks you a question.
“Huh?” You look over at the board. “Sure, track 27, looks like it’ll head out in about ten minutes. You’ve still got time to get a seat.” Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You answered his question and lost your opportunity to scare your cousin into silence.
“Wow!” Your cousin exclaims. “That was sort of scary.” He looks at you with big dewy Bambi eyes. “You’re really something. Would I be like that if I moved here?”
“One can only hope.”
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