Okay, so I don't normally like to do this, but I've decided there must be a pity party and ain't no one gonna organize it for me but me. Last week I hurt my leg pretty badly. I have a big limp, you see. Left leg is more than an inch shorter than my right leg. Don't ask why it was the left that decided it was being overworked and went on strike. It was just starting to feel better yesterday. And it was a good morning. I worked a little on this game I'm developing for a friend as a gag gift. Wrote a litte of a project I'm working on. Did a bunch of queries and decided it was time for lunch. I had just put the bread and whatnot in the toaster over to make myself a home made meatball sub when I hear this noise. It's a noise I'm familiar with. A noise I've been dreading. It's water. On the floor of my basement. You don't even want to know how many times it's flooded. And not because of broken pipes. It's always the boiler itself. Needless to say, I abandon my sandwhich (the bread winds up overcooked AND cold by the time I eat it) in order to spend the next hour and change desperately trying to find what to shut off, calling the plumbers, Westmore, and splashing around in scalding hot water (and I've got blisters on my feet to prove it) wet-vaccing the place because yes. This happens so often that we have our own goddamn wet-vac. Long story short we have to replace the entire boiler. You know the last time we had to do that was? January 2010. This is becoming an anual thing and I am not a happy man. Meanwhile, the insurance company wants to blame Westmore for installing a faulty low point cut-off switch. Who knows what the Westmore supervisor, who goes by the unlikely name of Dwight D. Eisenhower, will say. What I'll say is that yesterday afternoon was a huge bust and cost me roughly ninety jillion dollars. Which is why I'm in no mood to review anything.
Not to mention that I'd been planning on reviews and maybe a brief comp/contrast of all the Scott Pilgrim stuff. But the movie has been delayed in arriving to me from Netflix for reasons including, but not limited to-
1. Snow
2. Me keeping Kentucky Fried Movie too long
3. More snow.
There are plenty of things I could review, but now I'm pissed. So I won't. But you read this far and it'd be proof positive that I'm the world's biggest asshole if I didn't offer you something of value outside of the humorously pathetic sound of my kvetching.
So, here's sort of how one wants to react to jerky queries as portrayed by an ironically titled webcomic. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, have a self help column written by she-who-has-only-a-title-but-no-name in an article I'd have titled "is your agent cheating on you?"
Assuming my house doesn't implode, I've got more reviews I'd planned then days left in this week, but oh wells. They can always be done later. Join me next time for "Robin's Rapid Reviews: Mongol Mania"
I'd slap you and tell you to buck up and review already, but that is just plain mean when you are already down.
ReplyDelete((HUG)) Did I just do that??? Oh yes I did. Why? Because I am a mom and I do that on bad days. Instinct. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Argh! Huggles!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, today's probably as much of a bust as yesterday afternoon. I have to catch up on all the stuff I didn't do then plus more jibber jabber with insurance and such. Have to arrange for the boiler to be replaced in its entirety, which'll mean at least another day without heat. It's just a freaking mess.
Doesn't it just suck that these things happen usually a) in the dead of winter when you most need that shit to work...b) within days of the warranty period expiring...which means c) an endless stream of confrontation in order to get things back in working order.
ReplyDeleteLimey bastards, all of them.
anyway, hope things start looking up :)
CRAP. Forget the damn reviews! Are you okay? Blisters on the bottoms of your feet? And there is snow all over NYC! This sucks the big buttocks of society, dude. Complain away, I'm really good at the smile and nod thing...I have toddlers.
ReplyDeleteIf I was there, I'd totally order out for a meatball sub. Or somethin'. The Rejectionist article was a HOOT.
Oh God Robin, I was going to say my day was surely worse than yours, but I don't think I can top blisters on feet and ninety jillion dollars worth of home repairs. Yuck sorry. (Although I will join the pity party and say that I've been cleaning up offspring puke for the last 24 hours). However, puke doesn't cause blisters so, dude, you win this contest. Hope the insurance company is decent about getting everything fixed.
ReplyDeleteKarla: Pretty sure suckitude is the meaning of life.
ReplyDeleteAmy: Can't relax. Equating happiness with failure is just one of many wonderful family traits I've inherited. So the show must go on.
Emily: I can hate my pipes and boiler. I could even move, at least in theory. You're stuck with Professor Pukington for at least another what? Decade and a half? Probably two? Or more? I would not trade places with you, although I do hope the kid's alright. And that your husband picked up the economy sized container of carpet cleaner.
And so we see I've returned to my usual, sunny disposition.
hehe, glad to have you back. Luckily for us, we are friends with the owners of the local Stanley Steemer franchise. Handy.
ReplyDeleteEmily, do what we did and Pergo the place. MUCH EASIER. Well, half of it's tile, but still. Three little boys+carpet=very bad things. One was bad enough.
ReplyDeleteI am still quite grateful for the dog. He works harder than any vacuum.
Amy, the ironic thing is that our house is entirely hardwood and tile except for one room, which is where the intitial, (you know after eating pizza, donuts and coke,) puke fest occured! Of course..sigh
ReplyDelete