That's Mr. Crew to You

You know, a strange thing’s been happening recently. The agency gets queries addressed to me specifically. And, some of them even identify me as Mr. Robin Crew. Now, on the one hand, I want to get angry and say “Mr. Crew is my father, the former teacher. I’m not so old I want to be addressed as Mister.” But on the other hand, they correctly identified my gender and even spelled my name with an “I.” Then, some of them claim to read my blog to boot.

I’ve always wondered about that. Do they? Maybe they do read it. Maybe they checked in when they made their query. Maybe they just noticed that I’ve got one and used it as a conversation topic. After all, sometimes I wonder about the logic. “I enjoy your blog, so I think you’ll enjoy this book which has nothing to do with your mad ramblings whatsoever.” Even then, who knows? Maybe they DO read it and figure we think alike. It’s all very strange. And it makes me suddenly hesitant to even read the query… in a good way for you. It feels like a conflict of interest. Like we’re secretly buddies. It’s an odd sensation. So come on. Be a pal. Stop humanizing yourself. It makes my job as "bad cop" so much harder.

From the author’s standpoint, it probably can’t hurt. Afterall, if I’m hesitant to reject you, I’ll spend more time with your manuscript in front of me. I mean, not to be the bearer of bad news, but you’ll probably be rejected anyway, but your chances (or chances of getting a little feedback) improve as the time I spend with your materials increases. Even so, I’m hesitant to recommend this method. It is, after all, an extension of precisely what you SHOULD do- research the agent, see what books they work on, whether you like them as people, and address them as a person and not some distant, magical book-selling tool that works in some other dimension which you neither need nor desire knowledge of. Adressing it personally, telling us how you found us or why you think you’re a good fit (quickly, please! “I saw your presentation at SCBWI.” “So-and-so who you represent recommended you to me.” “Editor What’s-His-Face thought you’d be interested.” “I was in that Webinar and you said it sounded interesting, so…”)That's all good.

Thing is, I ain’t the agent. I’m not even Junior agent although I’d love that and if there were a budget for it, I think the bossman would approve. I’m a mere assistant. I get veto power, and the boss listens to my advice, but in the final analysis, I have no guaranteed power to choose what we represent, which IS AS IT SHOULD BE. Ultimately, “M” is the one who has to line edit and sell the books, so he needs to be the one who makes the final call. Addressing me is still totally a point in your favor. In some ways, that’s even more appealing to me. “Lookit me! I’m a big, important man now.” But problems arise. Some authors are still addressing people who are no longer at the agency. Occasionally, they’d address people who would never be involved with queries. And I’m not the only reader of the pile anymore. The boss does to, as do some interns. Or junior assistants. Or whatever we’re calling them.

Much as I enjoy the ring of authority that “Mr. Crew” carries, I still think you’d be better off addressing the boss. Trust me, I won’t be insulted. It’s his agency. And I can only imagine what the junior assistants think. Like “Man, who is this hotshot who gets Fanmail/Queries?”