Random Crap Day Part II

The importance of being Michael- My godfather’s name is Michael. We had lengthy discussions on the subject of Zork last weekend. My best friend since highschool’s name is Michael. He lives in a house with two other guys named Michael he met in college. They’re known as the Mikeumvirate, lords of Mikoslavia. Michael is the most well known archangel. This blog has been referencing films with Michael Cera a lot lately (e.g. Scott Pilgrim and Superbad). I was unaware that I was a “fan” until I saw Jesse Eisenberg’s (now famous for his role in “the Social Network”) portrayal of “Columbus” in Zombieland and instantly dubbed him “that fake, crappy Michael Cera” to the universal applause of friends and family. Actually, I just saw Zombieland for the first time the other day. It was pretty bad. Female lead Emma Stone (“Wichita”) was pretty good though. And also hot. And now that I think about it she was in Superbad. In case you were wondering, and in case I needed more proof that everyone, including the movie’s director spent their time wishing with all their might that Eisenberg might suddenly become A MICHAEL, which is clearly the most important thing. Example: The Nostalgia Critic’s review last week? A crappy sequel to a movie based on a book written by Michael Crichton. I looked up the guy who wrote the first novel I ever read. He’s still active. In fact, if you want him to come to your elementary school and teach the kiddies about the hell that is life as a writer, you need but contact his assistant- Michael. All things are coming up Michael right now. If you’re a Michael, congratulations. If you’re not a Michael, it sucks to be you. I’ll be sure to let everyone know when, like, Jonas week begins.

I also read the Scott Pilgrim comics during one of my visits to Mikoslavia, because they were in the possession of on Michael or another. Not sure which. You may have missed it, but there’s a lot of them. They’re everywhere. Disguised as normal people. Virtually indistinguishable from me or you.

Speaking of stupid theme days, like Random Crap Day, my brother and I had a chance to discuss Weird Al’s Straight Out of Lynwood album recently. See, it’s funny because despite the fact that he’s handsome and successful and happy and all that jazz (uh, I could be. I just don’t wanna. So there. Nyah), no one could ever NOT realize we’re brothers. Although they usually think I’m the older one for some reason. Anyway, we both declared that the album had only one bad song. So we delved deeper. Both of us felt that song was Weasel Stomping Day. Further investigation required! This feeling was bolstered for both of us because we got the impression that it was inspired by Whacking Day. Well. Great minds and all that. Coincidentally, according to that linked article, there were actual whacking day in Eastchester, where my Godfather, Uncle Michael was raised. See? See? Everywhere I go, there’s a MICHAEL. It’s gotta be some sort of world wide Michael conspiracy. I’m on to you Michael. Err, Michaels.