April Makes Fools of Us All. Or Possibly Just Me.

It really does. For one thing, it's snowing right now. Pretty hard, too. Why is it doing that? It's freaking APRIL. What's that saying about March? In like a lion and out like a lamb? Why is my bloody lamb roaring at me?

Here's another way it makes a fool of us...or at least me and everyone I know my age in publishing: we're all poor. I have now been looking for full time work for three months and can't so much as get an INTERVIEW despite the fact that the average entry level requires only a college education, where I have several years work experience IN PUBLISHING and a master's degree. Pretty much all my friends are in the same boat except for one. Who has ten years experience in a middle positon and who'll be deported if he can't get a company willing to sponsor him to sign his checks. There are three things that make the situation intolerable- firstly, that companies jump at the chance to have me for free, but even networking all I ever get is "yeah, you seem pretty good. There's an internship spot you can have OR you can try talking to Whoever, Director of Whatever at Wherever Inc." Director Whoever, however, will only say the same. Secondly, there's my family's insistance that this makes me a huge failure and that obviously I'm not trying hard enough, which is bullshit, but it's what I've come to expect from my family. The third problem is similar to the second but from the other way around. It's sympathy. Usually more like mutual wound licking. I don't want to hear that, either. For one thing, it makes me feel even worse. The more people in my position talk about how we're going to starve in the streets one day very soon despite being dedicated and massively overqualified, all it does is remind me how many people are screwed. And what happens when I finally get a gig? Assuming that ever happens (which it won't from the looks of it)? Then I'll be thinking about how many people I know who would want that job and aren't getting it. I don't like guilt. I'm too good for guilt. So don't tell me your problems because then I have to feel for you. And I can barely feel for myself. I don't exactly have an excess of concern right now.

On a completely unrelated April Annoyance issue, check this out. I have eleven first cousins, including once removed. There are 365 days in a year. What are the odds that any share birthdays? Short answer: such an occurance would be very unlikely. But they do. And not only is this the case, but on THE SAME EXACT DAY I have a friend(specifically, starving, overqualified classmate) who is having an apartment warming party to celebrate finally moving in with her long time boyfriend. Which obviously I can't go to because I'm going to be in Massachusets, celebrating one birthday (ignoring another) and preparing for Faux Passover. Well, fuck. Maybe a few people can get married and I can die from the stress and then everyone will have something to remember April 16th for. Every year. Forever. What is so goddamn special about April 16th, huh? All I can say is "AAAAAARGH."

Come on, me. Look at the bright side. The Goldberg children are very naive. Now that I've sucessfully convinced them that Charlie Brown has Leukemia, I can bullshit about something else and giggle like a little girl when they fall for it. That oughta cheer me up.