Tuesday, December 14, 2010

That's Mr. Crew to You

You know, a strange thing’s been happening recently. The agency gets queries addressed to me specifically. And, some of them even identify me as Mr. Robin Crew. Now, on the one hand, I want to get angry and say “Mr. Crew is my father, the former teacher. I’m not so old I want to be addressed as Mister.” But on the other hand, they correctly identified my gender and even spelled my name with an “I.” Then, some of them claim to read my blog to boot.

I’ve always wondered about that. Do they? Maybe they do read it. Maybe they checked in when they made their query. Maybe they just noticed that I’ve got one and used it as a conversation topic. After all, sometimes I wonder about the logic. “I enjoy your blog, so I think you’ll enjoy this book which has nothing to do with your mad ramblings whatsoever.” Even then, who knows? Maybe they DO read it and figure we think alike. It’s all very strange. And it makes me suddenly hesitant to even read the query… in a good way for you. It feels like a conflict of interest. Like we’re secretly buddies. It’s an odd sensation. So come on. Be a pal. Stop humanizing yourself. It makes my job as "bad cop" so much harder.

From the author’s standpoint, it probably can’t hurt. Afterall, if I’m hesitant to reject you, I’ll spend more time with your manuscript in front of me. I mean, not to be the bearer of bad news, but you’ll probably be rejected anyway, but your chances (or chances of getting a little feedback) improve as the time I spend with your materials increases. Even so, I’m hesitant to recommend this method. It is, after all, an extension of precisely what you SHOULD do- research the agent, see what books they work on, whether you like them as people, and address them as a person and not some distant, magical book-selling tool that works in some other dimension which you neither need nor desire knowledge of. Adressing it personally, telling us how you found us or why you think you’re a good fit (quickly, please! “I saw your presentation at SCBWI.” “So-and-so who you represent recommended you to me.” “Editor What’s-His-Face thought you’d be interested.” “I was in that Webinar and you said it sounded interesting, so…”)That's all good.

Thing is, I ain’t the agent. I’m not even Junior agent although I’d love that and if there were a budget for it, I think the bossman would approve. I’m a mere assistant. I get veto power, and the boss listens to my advice, but in the final analysis, I have no guaranteed power to choose what we represent, which IS AS IT SHOULD BE. Ultimately, “M” is the one who has to line edit and sell the books, so he needs to be the one who makes the final call. Addressing me is still totally a point in your favor. In some ways, that’s even more appealing to me. “Lookit me! I’m a big, important man now.” But problems arise. Some authors are still addressing people who are no longer at the agency. Occasionally, they’d address people who would never be involved with queries. And I’m not the only reader of the pile anymore. The boss does to, as do some interns. Or junior assistants. Or whatever we’re calling them.

Much as I enjoy the ring of authority that “Mr. Crew” carries, I still think you’d be better off addressing the boss. Trust me, I won’t be insulted. It’s his agency. And I can only imagine what the junior assistants think. Like “Man, who is this hotshot who gets Fanmail/Queries?”

21 comments:

  1. yeah yeah... you know you like it and think you are soooo cool. ;-) From the writer standpoint, the query seems less like a cold business blurb and more like a friendly greeting if addressed to someone we know or think we know. It's silly, but it creates a comfort zone.

    FYI, I read all your posts. I may not have time to make a comment or like all of your subjects, but you are an interesting fellow.

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  2. hehe well you have hit the big time now! Getting queries addressed to you and blog readers/stalkers, is the ultimate flattery in the agent hunt. Has anyone addressed you as Ms. Robin Crew?

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  3. Hey, I know I'm soooo cool. Always glad to get comments though. I know from my own habits that I read a hundred times more than I comment on, but it's sorta depressing to see a topic fall flat and not know if no one cared, or just thought it didn't need to be commented on or what.

    Actually, so far I haven't seen any "Ms. Robin"s from authors. Not that I haven't gotten it plenty often in the past from other people. Also: Are you familiar with Ellen Hopkins?

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  4. Am I familiar with Ellen Hopkins? Yes! LOVE HER LOVE HER. She is like, one of my idols.

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  5. Tracy, Glad to be of service.

    Emily If you don't have a copy of Fallout yet, I've got an ARC you can have. Maybe now that my semester is winding down I can actually join in on one of the writer drink-a-thons. Uhhh, are they held in actual physical places?

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  6. I haven't read fallout yet...but I've heard it's fantastic! I'll totally take your ARC off your hands.

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  7. They are held inside our head, that's where all the good drinking places are. Although I heard someone throwing out an idea about an agency retreat to M. That would be awesome.

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  8. "They are held inside our head." Does that mean that there's some sort of author hive mind I'm not privy to? Oh wells. Copy's yours if I see you in person. And I guess that was a subtle hint to me to suggest the Author Alcohol Retreat? Or AAR for short. Like a pirate. Shit. Tonight's my last class. The graduate degree is mine! Muahahahahaha. So I'd be more'n happy to celebrate in the near future.

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  9. Oh I'm so jealous. I'm one of those insane people who decided her original degree wasn't what she really wanted to do with her life, so I'm currently in the trenches of undergrad hell again. Although at least this time around I get to study something that is a little more enjoyable than poli sci/ journalism. Not that those weren't fun, but it does get a bit dry.

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  10. Oh and as for the author hive mind, it's more like mutliple personalities, or maybe tourettes. You just never know with writers. We walk a fine line between super cool and, well, crazy land.

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  11. Is that how it works? Must be why my progress as a writer stalled out. 'Cuz you know I'm just super cool all the time. I wish my master's was in Poli Sci. Much as I make fun of it (for many legitimate reasons) I probably should've been a teacher like my old man.

    So what are you going back for?

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  12. I'm converting to a B.S. in Secondary Ed/English. It really isn't that bad, I basically just have to do the Secondary Ed classes and a few upper level English, like Shakespeare,Medieval Lit etc. I'm only doing one class at a time, (one every 8 weeks) and doing it all online, which is nice because I wouldn't be able to go to a brick and mortar classroom at the moment. But the only crappy thing is that the best online secondary ed/english program I could find was through a Baptist University. I'm getting a little sick and tired of the evangelical spin on everything we study. It's kind of hard to stomach. But I'm just the pariah in the class...i,e, the lone Catholic. muahahahha.

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  13. Oh and I'm a total bitch because I didn't say 'congrats' on the graduate degree! I don't have any manners. CONGRATS!! I bet it feels great to be done! What was your degree in?

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  14. Ha! I was the only non-Catholic at Fairfield, not that it was even on the top ten list of things that made me a pariah. I'll always remember accepted students weekend.

    "We now have students from all fifty states, over sixty foreign countries, and there's a rumor going around we've actually got a couple of protestants." It was a really good school though.

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  15. Publishing. I am now forever tied to an industry that pays a pittance for loads of very hard work. Wheeee.

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  16. Don't feel bad...I'm going to be tied to an industry that pays a pittance to teaching the next generation of citizens how to effectively communicate. I bet it was interesting being the only protestant at a Catholic school. I bet there were good parties though...hehe

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  17. Oh and I was laughing earlier as I was doing a little revising of CHRYSALIS and I hear that you don't agree with the Spanish Inquisition being taught to 16 year olds....my little school is behind academically for poetic reasons. lol

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  18. Wait, what about the Spanish inquisition? I don't remember that. Are we talking about the actual spanish inquisition? Or did the text just compare something to it? I mean, I did read it in just a couple hours and don't remember most of what I said, but I know me pretty well. In general, my only responses to the Spanish inquisition are

    A) NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
    B) "You know what's hilarious? The inquisition ran all the Jews out of town for being evil heathens, then everyone got sick 'cuz there weren't any doctors and they had to beg them to come back." *giggles like school girl*

    Then again, maybe I was just railing against the school system for its seemingly limitless incompetence and just assumed that most kids don't get to learn about...anything. Man, now I have to find my notes.

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  19. "- 127 Evan is 17? Isn’t Maggie 16? Would they really end up in any classes together at a large school? Also, global history is 9th-10th. If he’s 17 he’s probably in 11th. That’s American History." That's the closest note I could find to anything about the Spanish Inquisition. Mostly my stuff comes out to "Why is Evan using Maggie's ghost terminology?" or "Cut this line here and it'll be stronger." or "That's way too formal for an e-mail between friends."

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  20. hehe, yeah that's the reference! I needed the spanish inquisition! And that's funny about the Jews...I didn't know that.

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