The results are IN folks. All over the country, people are raving about my extraordinary editorial prowess.
“Also, just to note at minimum your help resulted in me cutting about 2000 words from the story and thus far I have made 5000 revisions based on my own judgment after reading your review and- and I'm only at page 110” – F in Texas
Those words totally had it coming.
“Is it weird that as I was writing it, I kept picturing you staring over my shoulder saying 'less is more' or 'awkward phrasing' or 'keep it simple', then slapping me on the back of the head?”- J from Georgia
No, of course not. Well, okay yes. It is weird. But also awesome. If I could somehow bottle and sell this…this…editorial superego I’ve fostered in you, I’d be filthy rich.
“I think you’re a great editor. I also think one day you’re going to edit the wrong person and you’ll be found floating face down in the Hudson the next morning.” – D From New York.
Okay. Woah. That went to a weird place. Let’s back that one up, huh?
Anyway, now you too can try Crewd Editing for yourself right in the convenience of your very own home. “ That’s Too good to be true!” You say? Nothing is too good to be true when Robin Crew is involved. Here’s how it works. The first person to post a reply to this comment wins the right to send me 20 pages of a WIP and I will edit those twenty pages for you, Tears guaranteed or the money you won’t have to pay me for my work anyway will be returned in full. The first page –with edits will appear on my blog because as they say “kill one enemy to warn a thousand.” If the first to comment has no WIP, they may give the right to the second poster. This will be a recurring thing. And remember, I’m an “editorial Assistant.” NOT the agent. Impressing me (or earning my enmity) means little as I do not officially speak for any agency, but am merely offering my eagle like eyes, my razor sharp mind, and my hideously, painfully blunt mannerisms. If that sounds like something you’d enjoy (weirdo) then comment away!
Do your eagle eyes work on picture books? If so, you just got lucky because I only have about 4 pages for you to bluntly comment on instead of 20.
ReplyDelete~Erin
Not my favorite thing. Probably should've specified MG and up, fiction or non-fiction prose. But since I didn't, I'll take a look.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I feel like I should still leave this open for the first person who meets that description. So I guess I'll be doing two? For posts in early January. Consider it a Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/Whatever gift.
You had me at all the veiled Ghostbusters references. Do you have any cool little gadgets? Do you drive a crappy car, or merely have a cluttered workspace? Such confidence that might inspire I cannot even mention. It might out my extreme nerdiness. As your boss has my only fat manuscript, I offer up 14 pages from another work. Perhaps your elimination talents will inspire me to churn out another 6 pages by deadline. I tremble in eager anticipation of deletion. BRING IT ON.
ReplyDeleteVeiled? I thought it was pretty obvious. But my desk is totally cluttered AND I used to have the replicas of the trap and I think both the first movie's proton pack AND the slime spraying gun from the second movie. I've also got a working copy of the NES version of Ghosbusters 2 the video game. Alas, the original's game may have had a port, but I only ever played it on an Apple II at school.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, send me your manuscripts soon as you can. I actually meant I'd be returning them anfd posting the first page w/revisions in early January, so if you can get them to me by Wednesday, that'd be awesome. My e-mail is off to the side there somewheres. I tremble in eager anticipation of deleting. Bring it!
Replicas of the slime spraying gun? I'll knock out six more pages, dust up my comma errors, and have that puppy e-mailed to you by Wednesday. Slime-free, I promise.
ReplyDeleteA dancing toaster would make a lovely house warming gift.
ReplyDeleteI'll be waiting for both of your manuscripts.
Awesome, can't wait to see the results of this!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Your boss also has one of my best stories, but I will send you my most current work. Don't worry, it's not a first draft. And it's a mere 500 words, so hopefully it will be relatively painless. Unlike Amy's MS however, mine may have traces of slime in it....
ReplyDelete~Erin
Grody. Slimy e-mail inbox.
ReplyDeleteOh crap! Why didn't I turn on my laptop sooner??? I have a WIP SciFi that could use a 20 page eagle eye, but it looks like I got beat out.
ReplyDeleteDagnabit!
Heh. I wouldn't worry too much. I'm sure I'll do this again soon enough. Whenever the itch strikes. It strikes often. Until some dermatologist invents a solution (perhaps a powder or cream?) for my God Complex.
ReplyDeleteI could send some kissy lips or bat my eyes, but I'd probably make your stomach upset to add to your itch.
ReplyDeleteI could temp you with cookies... or cinnamon rolls?
SIGH... I guess I'll wait.
I wouldn't say no to cinnamon rolls, but they have a long way to travel though and lose their magic palm greasing powers as they cool.
ReplyDelete