The other day, I reviewed a query whose story opened with the line "It was Saturday morning when I climbed out of the shower." Can anyone tell me what's wrong with this opening?
As a self assessment, compare your answer to my (by no means definitive) list of reasons below.
1) That's mundane. Like waking up. What have I said about such a mundane action starting a story? That it's boring and doesn't distinguish you from the dozens of other manuscripts I look over every single day.
2) It's awkwardly phrased.
3) It's confusing.
4) Combining parts 3 and 4, it leads to various questions such as "When did you get in the shower?" and unless the answer is sometime other than Saturday morning, then yeah. This opening is mundane. The answer was, in fact, Saturday morning. "Well, perhaps taking a shower is an unusual phenomenon?" you might ask next. The story might take place in another time or place with a scarcity of water, or following a character's first exposure to indoor plumbing. Such was not the case here.
Remember, every word counts. And your opening line counts about ten times more. So give it some serious thought before you say something that's either boring or awkward. And if it's both? Consider yourself officially rejected. I will wash my hands of you after just the one sentence.
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