Robin's Rules of Better Business Part 1

Rule Number 1: Know Thy Mailguy

It may sound strange but this is probably the first and most significant rule in almost any job. Look around you at the office. Especially if you’re a director or an exec, how many interns, assistants and others appear to you as mere functionaries? Sure, getting to know the people at the top is important to rising through the ranks. But you’d be surprised how much your success depends on how well and how quickly these “mere functionaries” do the work you want them to do.

Recently, at my big corporate internship, I was barraged with requests from three different departments to do these mass mailings all at the same time. Nevermind the actual work of it. I go from being super busy to bored out of my skull lickety split, ‘specially around these parts, but that’s office grunt work for you. The real problem is that, believe it or not, marketing interns do not have much in the way of shipping supplies Truthfully, nobody does in this place. Sure, padded envelopes if you know where to look, but I needed boxes. Big ones. And kraft paper. And bubble wrap. I had very little of these things, only that which I personally squirreled away from incoming packages. I had enough for maybe a quarter of the stuff they wanted me to send.

Fortunately, I had made a point of getting to know the mail guy from the start.

He introduced me to the mailroom staff, who let me take as many boxes as they had and hooked me up with as much bubble wrap as they could spare. Not much, but it was enough to get the job done, albeit with a minimum of protection. When that still wasn’t enough boxes, the mailguy showed me to various departments around our massive, labyrinthine building which frequently toss boxes. And he helped me take a giant pile of them back to my place so I could get the job done. Then he stalled the UPS guy so I could get it all out the same day.

I’m interning at this giant corporation, see (in addition to my work at the literary agency) . And a few years back, before I started grad school, I was actually running a mailroom and working as the assistant Facilities manager of another company. Here’s something I learned by doing this; “functionaries” know their stuff. They know damn near everyone. They know where the supplies are. They know what the processes are. And in my case, I did everything from security cards, building maintenance, working with third party contractors, and approving payment for the supplies you wanted to changing toner and cleaning out the bloody fridge every Friday for lazy bums too good to toss their own putrefied fruit cups. Even if the “functionaries” are huge jerks, you still need them. It’s just a bonus if they’re as awesome as the mail guy in my office. And let’s face it. These people do not win awards or get recognition or bonuses or raises or promotions. No one works their way up from the mailroom anymore. Hell, our mail room is an independently contracted third party hired by building management. There’s no incentive for them to be as awesome as my mail guy except work ethic and job satisfaction. So do them, and consequently yourself a favor. Know thy mail guy. Say hello in the morning. Thank him when he breaks his spine to deliver ten giant boxes of books to you only to be rewarded with a similar outgoing pile. Shoot him a joke now and then. Do the same for interns and assistants and other “lowly” staff members. I think you’ll find that any good leader will need the support and loyalty of “functionaries” more than they need the approval of their peers.

Join me next time in “50 Ways to Lose Your Reader” OR “Five Days and Four Nights in Fabulous Rejection Pile”