Certainties

In life, only three things are absolutely certain. Death, taxes, and your manuscript being rejected. Probably an uncomfortably large number of times. As a child, I remember that teachers and acquaintances who knew a little something about the industry would cheer my writing on by reminding me of famous books that got rejected dozens of times. A Wrinkle in Time was definitely their favorite anecdote. Between that and my first favorite author talking about how he spent years digging graves while trying to make it as a writer probably should've clued me in to just how tough it was.

I say this because it's important that you understand that even talented writers with an established history will be rejected. Even if your manuscript is top tier, there are any number of reasons an agency might pass. The market is too small. They're too busy. They have too many authors who write that kind of book.

One thing you can control is how you react when I crush your hopes and dreams. There are two acceptable responses to a rejection- silence or "thanks for your time." As I said before, Publishing is a small world with a lot of interaction. Saying anything else could get you in deep. Example: One author queries us with a 150+ page picture book. She was sent a form rejection by yours truly because A) her cover letter was sloppy and B) Because a 150 page picture book would be prohibively expensive to print and in the extremely tight children's market, would never fly. Her response was to demand we look again because her art is like Salivador Dali only better (It was a children's how-to technical illustrated manual. Can I assume it tells us how to make drippy, melting clocks?) and to say that she knows the market better than an experienced agent and editor, a proffesional submissions manager, and someone who has spent several years in the industry and a year of graduate studies about said industry under his belt? We didn't even reply to that.

Another example: a writer queried us about a book that sounded fairly interesting if familiar, but the writing needed far too much work. I rejected him. A while later, he sent an e-mail along the lines of "I'm glad all you *Removed because only I can curse in my blog, damnit* agents rejected my book. Because you know what? I self published and sold 700 copies. Yeah, that's right. You'll all be sorry." Okay, either he only asked a handful of agents and took it way too hard, or he asked a lot and doesn't know how to take a hint. Also, 700 copies isn't much considering he'd been spending time and money out the wazoo to promote it on the internet before he even queried us. I'd say....oh, after another fifty or sixty THOUSAND copies, he might make best seller. And after I sumarily deleted his raging response, I realized why his story sounded familiar. I'd read it before, only the first time I saw it, it was good. That book was called Wiseguy. You may know its film adaptation: Goodfellas. If it makes him feel better, I already feel sorry. Sorry I won't be around to see the lawsuit he'll face if his book does take off.

Fortunately for these overenthusastic folks, I'm not vindictive. Honestly, holding a grudge would require me to care what happens to you. For the rest of you, just know that it doesn't hurt to be civil, and it could help a lot. At my agency, we always wish people luck and give a pointer here or there when we can. You could show similar decency- indeed, most people do. Because when you fix that book up or send us another one, who knows. We might be interested. But not if you're going to make life difficult for us.