Copy editing might be the single most boring thing in the world. Once upon a time, I took a copy editing test and I was bored by the end of the first paragraph. I also taught English as a foreign language for a chain of private schools in Japan. Before I even got there I knew it wouldn't work out between us. The people they hired were those who had fewer than 2 typos in their lengthy essays about why they wanted the job. Here I thought they were interested in my personality, but all they really wanted was my word processor. Could they be any more shallow?
But there's something I need to tell you about it for when you submit your manuscript to an agent, editor, or submissions manager. And this is true whether we're talking books or magazines, or anything at all, really. Most of us don't especially care for copy editing. We find it monotonous. Even so, a book which is *not* given a once over for correct spellings etc. looks bad. A good book gets demoted. A decent book will be summarily rejected if you're not following the basic rules. So here's a few things to keep in mind.
Elementary school grammar stuff. Mixing up "its" and "it's" or "to" and "too" or "there" and "their." Missing it on ocassion we understand. Miss them a lot and even if your book is otherwise interesting, at the very least we now need to factor in the extra time that needs to be spent copy editing your book. And the more time spent refining a project on that kind of level means less profit, which makes agents and editors alike less likely to pick you up.
Another big one is comma splices and run on sentences. New writers love to have these long, rambling sentences that take up an entire paragraph. As often as not, they get their message confused along the way. There's no shame in using two or three sentences. Hell, except for a certain kind of comedy I think shorter sentences are probably a better bet. They tend to be clearer, more definitive, harder to misunderstand, and of cours they're also easier to fix gramatically.
Next up, punctuation marks. I'm assuming that you, my gentle readers are all writers. Look at something you've written recently. Do you have more than one exclamation point on the average page? How about ellipses? Hyphens and dashes? Parantheticals? New writers tend to overuse all of these things. None of them are inherently bad, but they are distracting and when they're overused, it looks amateurish. When you write, try as an exercise to limit them. Trust me, it helps. As for parantheticals, I'll tell you all what I tell my writing group. Use it or lose it. That's pretty much my battle cry. And yes, editing is war. When I say use it, I mean make it a consistent part of the style. Don't pop one up every sixty pages out of nowhere. Start using them early and use them consistently. For an excellent example, read "The Princess Bride" by William Goldman.
Finally, dialogue tags. We're all guilty of these sometimes. Some common problems include overusing non-standard tags. "Ask" and "said" will be fine nine times out of ten. The next biggest problem is explaining the tags. "Snapped angrily" is redundant and "responded sarcastically" is telling rather than showing. Don't forget to follow basic grammar rules in sentencs with dialogue. "'Holy shit,' Ryan said. 'We're screwed six ways from Sunday.'" NOT "'HOLY SHIT!!!!1' Ryan exclaimed excitedly. 'We're... screwed six ways from Sunday (At least I think we are - right?)!'" I can't even begin to tell you how mad that stuff gets me. Oh, and if you don't know the rules, in American English, quotes start with double marks and any quote inside the quote uses single marks. In British English, this is reversed. If you ever have someone quoting someone else, be sure to play by the rules or you're going to confuse your reader. And when your reader reads 30 queries a day 365, we're in no mood to hold your hand and teach you how to write English. We'll cut the foreign writers some slack, but note that it's only a little. If you live in California, you've got no excuse.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Certainties
In life, only three things are absolutely certain. Death, taxes, and your manuscript being rejected. Probably an uncomfortably large number of times. As a child, I remember that teachers and acquaintances who knew a little something about the industry would cheer my writing on by reminding me of famous books that got rejected dozens of times. A Wrinkle in Time was definitely their favorite anecdote. Between that and my first favorite author talking about how he spent years digging graves while trying to make it as a writer probably should've clued me in to just how tough it was.
I say this because it's important that you understand that even talented writers with an established history will be rejected. Even if your manuscript is top tier, there are any number of reasons an agency might pass. The market is too small. They're too busy. They have too many authors who write that kind of book.
One thing you can control is how you react when I crush your hopes and dreams. There are two acceptable responses to a rejection- silence or "thanks for your time." As I said before, Publishing is a small world with a lot of interaction. Saying anything else could get you in deep. Example: One author queries us with a 150+ page picture book. She was sent a form rejection by yours truly because A) her cover letter was sloppy and B) Because a 150 page picture book would be prohibively expensive to print and in the extremely tight children's market, would never fly. Her response was to demand we look again because her art is like Salivador Dali only better (It was a children's how-to technical illustrated manual. Can I assume it tells us how to make drippy, melting clocks?) and to say that she knows the market better than an experienced agent and editor, a proffesional submissions manager, and someone who has spent several years in the industry and a year of graduate studies about said industry under his belt? We didn't even reply to that.
Another example: a writer queried us about a book that sounded fairly interesting if familiar, but the writing needed far too much work. I rejected him. A while later, he sent an e-mail along the lines of "I'm glad all you *Removed because only I can curse in my blog, damnit* agents rejected my book. Because you know what? I self published and sold 700 copies. Yeah, that's right. You'll all be sorry." Okay, either he only asked a handful of agents and took it way too hard, or he asked a lot and doesn't know how to take a hint. Also, 700 copies isn't much considering he'd been spending time and money out the wazoo to promote it on the internet before he even queried us. I'd say....oh, after another fifty or sixty THOUSAND copies, he might make best seller. And after I sumarily deleted his raging response, I realized why his story sounded familiar. I'd read it before, only the first time I saw it, it was good. That book was called Wiseguy. You may know its film adaptation: Goodfellas. If it makes him feel better, I already feel sorry. Sorry I won't be around to see the lawsuit he'll face if his book does take off.
Fortunately for these overenthusastic folks, I'm not vindictive. Honestly, holding a grudge would require me to care what happens to you. For the rest of you, just know that it doesn't hurt to be civil, and it could help a lot. At my agency, we always wish people luck and give a pointer here or there when we can. You could show similar decency- indeed, most people do. Because when you fix that book up or send us another one, who knows. We might be interested. But not if you're going to make life difficult for us.
I say this because it's important that you understand that even talented writers with an established history will be rejected. Even if your manuscript is top tier, there are any number of reasons an agency might pass. The market is too small. They're too busy. They have too many authors who write that kind of book.
One thing you can control is how you react when I crush your hopes and dreams. There are two acceptable responses to a rejection- silence or "thanks for your time." As I said before, Publishing is a small world with a lot of interaction. Saying anything else could get you in deep. Example: One author queries us with a 150+ page picture book. She was sent a form rejection by yours truly because A) her cover letter was sloppy and B) Because a 150 page picture book would be prohibively expensive to print and in the extremely tight children's market, would never fly. Her response was to demand we look again because her art is like Salivador Dali only better (It was a children's how-to technical illustrated manual. Can I assume it tells us how to make drippy, melting clocks?) and to say that she knows the market better than an experienced agent and editor, a proffesional submissions manager, and someone who has spent several years in the industry and a year of graduate studies about said industry under his belt? We didn't even reply to that.
Another example: a writer queried us about a book that sounded fairly interesting if familiar, but the writing needed far too much work. I rejected him. A while later, he sent an e-mail along the lines of "I'm glad all you *Removed because only I can curse in my blog, damnit* agents rejected my book. Because you know what? I self published and sold 700 copies. Yeah, that's right. You'll all be sorry." Okay, either he only asked a handful of agents and took it way too hard, or he asked a lot and doesn't know how to take a hint. Also, 700 copies isn't much considering he'd been spending time and money out the wazoo to promote it on the internet before he even queried us. I'd say....oh, after another fifty or sixty THOUSAND copies, he might make best seller. And after I sumarily deleted his raging response, I realized why his story sounded familiar. I'd read it before, only the first time I saw it, it was good. That book was called Wiseguy. You may know its film adaptation: Goodfellas. If it makes him feel better, I already feel sorry. Sorry I won't be around to see the lawsuit he'll face if his book does take off.
Fortunately for these overenthusastic folks, I'm not vindictive. Honestly, holding a grudge would require me to care what happens to you. For the rest of you, just know that it doesn't hurt to be civil, and it could help a lot. At my agency, we always wish people luck and give a pointer here or there when we can. You could show similar decency- indeed, most people do. Because when you fix that book up or send us another one, who knows. We might be interested. But not if you're going to make life difficult for us.
Friday, June 18, 2010
A strong blacklist
One of the first things you need to understand about submitting your work to an agent is that, like it or not, you're sort of at their mercy. If that's too unfair for you, you'll just have to stick with self publishing.
You'll find time and time again that publishing is a very small world considering the vast number of books published each year. There's a lot of reasons for this. The relative intimacy of agents and editors with their authors, the constant inter-departmental meetings within a company, and the extremely fluid nature of people's careers as they frequently move from one department to another, one company to another, and from major publishers, to small ones. Indeed, most good agents are going to have an editorial background. My boss is only in his forties and held editorial positions for three companies I know about, now owns his own agency, and was, once upon a time, a school teacher. It's not a field where people stay still.
This is important because for an agent to sell your book, they have to have contacts. Agents and editors put their reputation on the line every time they represent you. Furthermore, they're in surprisingly close contact with one another, so word gets around. And though they may not remember you as a random author seeking representation, you don't want to risk making yourself look bad. It is entirely posible to get yourself blacklisted by both agents and publishers.
For the next few weeks, I'll be explaining how not to step on agent's toes so you don't reduce the chance of them responding favorably at some other time or refusing to give you a referral, or worst, advising their colleagues to stay the hell away from you if they know what's good for 'em.
You'll find time and time again that publishing is a very small world considering the vast number of books published each year. There's a lot of reasons for this. The relative intimacy of agents and editors with their authors, the constant inter-departmental meetings within a company, and the extremely fluid nature of people's careers as they frequently move from one department to another, one company to another, and from major publishers, to small ones. Indeed, most good agents are going to have an editorial background. My boss is only in his forties and held editorial positions for three companies I know about, now owns his own agency, and was, once upon a time, a school teacher. It's not a field where people stay still.
This is important because for an agent to sell your book, they have to have contacts. Agents and editors put their reputation on the line every time they represent you. Furthermore, they're in surprisingly close contact with one another, so word gets around. And though they may not remember you as a random author seeking representation, you don't want to risk making yourself look bad. It is entirely posible to get yourself blacklisted by both agents and publishers.
For the next few weeks, I'll be explaining how not to step on agent's toes so you don't reduce the chance of them responding favorably at some other time or refusing to give you a referral, or worst, advising their colleagues to stay the hell away from you if they know what's good for 'em.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Honestly
Big news, everybody. Of course, you've all heard of my best selling debut novel. After all, my psychological thriller "Only the Good Die Jung" now has 200,000 copies in print.
What you may not know is that today, I closed a deal for my second book. It's a family friendly spin-off of the first. Entitled "I Tweet Therefore I am" it tells the tale of a young ghost who overcomes a philosophical quandary in regards to the nature of his own existence and learns to communicate with the living via Twitter. Expect to see it on shelves, Spring 2012!
Or not. Most likely not. Also, if anyone now publishes books with those titles, please note that I reserve the right to hunt you down and beat you senseless. Or would if I wasn't a pacifist. I'll have to settle for a lawsuit. I'm much too miserable a person to think that someone else might profit from the products of my stupid humor and tremendous self-loathing. But that's neither here nor there.
I won't give you my titles, but I can tell you a little bit about how to maneuver in the world of publishing to increase your chances of getting someone to at least take a look at your shitty manuscript. A long time amateur writer, I am now pursuing a Master of Science at Pace University's Publishing program and working for an agent. I crush people's hopes and dreams 7 days a week, all from the convenience of my very own home! As such, I can tell you precisely what not to say to me if you expect me to read past the first sentence. Hopefully, as I grow from a crotchety old man of 24 to a creaky, senile old man I'll be able to add the perspectives of the varying functions I'll fill in the chaotic world of publishing.
I will also warn you that my advice is not for the faint of heart, weak of mind, or knotted of knickers. Sugar coating just ain't my thing. But worry not, my gentle readers. Always remember as you read my rambling, incoherent, spite filled exhortations that I only hate you because I care.
What you may not know is that today, I closed a deal for my second book. It's a family friendly spin-off of the first. Entitled "I Tweet Therefore I am" it tells the tale of a young ghost who overcomes a philosophical quandary in regards to the nature of his own existence and learns to communicate with the living via Twitter. Expect to see it on shelves, Spring 2012!
Or not. Most likely not. Also, if anyone now publishes books with those titles, please note that I reserve the right to hunt you down and beat you senseless. Or would if I wasn't a pacifist. I'll have to settle for a lawsuit. I'm much too miserable a person to think that someone else might profit from the products of my stupid humor and tremendous self-loathing. But that's neither here nor there.
I won't give you my titles, but I can tell you a little bit about how to maneuver in the world of publishing to increase your chances of getting someone to at least take a look at your shitty manuscript. A long time amateur writer, I am now pursuing a Master of Science at Pace University's Publishing program and working for an agent. I crush people's hopes and dreams 7 days a week, all from the convenience of my very own home! As such, I can tell you precisely what not to say to me if you expect me to read past the first sentence. Hopefully, as I grow from a crotchety old man of 24 to a creaky, senile old man I'll be able to add the perspectives of the varying functions I'll fill in the chaotic world of publishing.
I will also warn you that my advice is not for the faint of heart, weak of mind, or knotted of knickers. Sugar coating just ain't my thing. But worry not, my gentle readers. Always remember as you read my rambling, incoherent, spite filled exhortations that I only hate you because I care.
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